Do not envy me

Envy? Ha!
That I saw the sunset over the beautiful Pacific?
That I get to sit at Starbucks,
drink my yummy latte?
Decaf. Mmmm…
No worries about it being Sunday night?
That I have a total of two things scheduled weekly
totaling 3.5 hours?
But inside I suffer.
Inside I cry.
I feel empty
so lost
the clouds make me cry
no, not from happiness.
from emptiness
the lostness
the fear
that things may never be better

People often ask me if I had fun in Vancouver (where I spent three  years). When I arrived I was a very sad person. Here is a taste of that. Written February 18, 2007.


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