The dark secrets of my writer’s block exposed

Oh, I love to write. So why do I keep not writing? Considering this conundrum I realized if I can’t write, I may as well write about not writing.

Here are 11 reasons I don’t publish way more considering how much is going on inside my head and how much I love writing. I am not sure if there are many more or, maybe, there is actually one reason standing behind all of these.

  1. She's a lefty!
    She’s a lefty! (Photo source)

    The tools: I don’t love using a computer. I don’t like the electronic feel and it hurts my hands and eyes. Also, because I do all my work and a bunch of “socializing” on the computer,  it’s hard to separate between them and my beloved hobby, writing. This is a huge psychological issue, with me often finding it difficult to focus. And as for hand-writing, I do it quite a lot; the first draft of this post took place in my handy dandy notebook. But my hand starts hurting from writing (many of us lefties were not taught how to properly hold a pencil) and it’s sloooow which doesn’t work with my…

  2. Impatience: So much importance is put on productivity today that it has made me hyper-aware of time ticking by. I might feel the need to stop and think, to contemplate, to formulate but it’s so hard for me to allow myself to give my attention how I need because the productivity devil makes me give up and often, ironically, do the most unproductive thing of all – Facebook. Or any other…
  3. (Photo source)
    (Photo source)

    Distractions: We are bombarded with information (which is often presented as utmost important) probably way more than any king or emperor was until 100 years ago. I am quite convinced it’s a big challenge for our brains to decipher between important and less important distractions. It’s very confusing. Not to mention that distractions are a perfect excuse to stop trying to finish the piece that anyway will probably be…

  4. One in a million: Because we’re so exposed to “the rest of the world,” it’s hard to continue feeling unique. Every time I come up with a piece, even write a large portion of it, I get down on myself for being like all the other people who are currently expressing themselves publicly and are, in my mind, writing the same stuff I’m writing. Also, knowing what else is out there often makes me feel the need to heed to…
  5. Convention: Because I see the big world, I see how people typically write and when my writing doesn’t fit convention – for example, often I feel like writing posts that will be very short (like, 1-2 paragraphs) – I get self conscious and stuck and instead of continuing writing whatever I want, I convince myself that it’s…
  6. A waste of time: If a piece is going well I start thinking that it doesn’t need my attention anymore and I focus on something else. If it’s going badly, I get emotional about it and push it aside. I also get stuck because of…
  7. Inhibition: I’m so careful about people’s feelings which makes it almost impossible to ever write 100% what is on my mind. This bums me out. Particularly when I notice…
  8. This is my laundry! (Photo source)
    Check out my (and my closest friends’) dirty laundry! (Photo source)

    The more verbal writers: They seem to be much more lenient about #7. I get busy resenting them – judging them for being insensitive and being angry for all the attention they get, feeling like it’s attention being taken away from me. Meanwhile I am also aware that, in fact…

  9. I’m often not interested in other writers’ writing: There is supposedly some kind of writers’ culture going on but truth be told, I’m not interested in most bloggers’ writing. So why should mine be of interest to others? And what if this is a sign that…
  10. I’m going to fail: Of course there is the fear of failure. The concern that I won’t get across what I want to get across how I want to get it across. The feeling that I’ll finish the piece and feel like it’s lacking (much like I feel right now as I write this piece). And all of this, of course, makes me think of…
  11. (Photo source)
    Smooches to me. (Photo source)

    Narcissism: So I’m going to publish my writing for the world to see? What is that?

There. I said it. What are your dark feelings and thoughts around the “thang” you really want to be doing? And if you don’t have any dark and difficult feelings, I don’t really want to hear from you. Thanks. : )

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2 thoughts on “The dark secrets of my writer’s block exposed

Add yours

  1. I share your need to be careful about the feelings of others. And I also see my writing as just a few more tiny squiggles in a vast sea made of writers’ words. What keeps me writing is the knowledge that no one has time to read all of the blogs… so even if I’m just saying something slightly different than everyone else, there is that occasional comment that reminds me that a particular reader heard it here first, and appreciated it. I try to remember that at the end of the day, I write because of your very first sentence. Additionally, I hope that my writing “adds to the sum of the light.” Everything else is commentary.

    1. Cool! Nice to hear your experience with this. It’s basically easier and harder than ever to write. A mixed blessing, this blogging platform is. :)

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