Two days ago, on my birthday, I began an experiment where, for a week, I am forcing myself to do what I think I should be doing (instead of making excuses to myself).
Just now I was looking through my Facebook newsfeed and when I came across a photo album by my friend Christina, I scrolled right by because I love looking at her photography. Yes, that’s why I didn’t want to look at her photos. Because she’s so talented and I’m scared about my future and thinking about what a great photographer she is made me question if I’ll ever be able to be successful in my own life.
I admit that’s what happened and yes, it’s quite embarrassing.
And then I stopped myself. I realized that I always love looking at her pictures and that right then what I needed to do was look at her album.
So I scrolled back up and looked at her beautiful album of British Columbia over the weekend.
Here is my favourite photo:
It’s amazing how my fears can have me making ridiculous subconscious decisions. But I know where that instinct comes from. The same way that I fear that my creative source is finite, I also fear that the space for amazing creativity and the appreciation of that creativity is finite. Oh fear, you’re so paralyzing. This may have only been a Facebook experience, but it was a liberating one.