You know how some people go out with more than one person at a time? Is that at all fair/moral?

I totally don’t believe that’s OK. In general, when we’re involved with someone romantically (on any level) or getting to know someone, through dating, we should just try to focus on that person and not confuse ourselves by dating someone else at the same time.

Someone just said to me that today we multi-task all the time and so some people multi-task in dating too. I think, though, that if we consider the purpose and point of dating, it is something that just doesn’t work if we do it with more than one person at once.

And, if you were to tell me that you’re starting to date someone else because you’re pretty sure it’s not gonna work out with the first person anyway, well, that’s just screwed up. If it’s not going to work with the other person, break up with that person first.

Is there any legitimacy in dating two people simultaneously?


5 thoughts on “Multi-dating

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  1. I think it depends what you mean by “dating”. If it’s a one-off lunch/dinner with someone, then that’s not very serious. Sometimes it just so happens that you meet more than one person in the same time frame.

    I think where it crosses the line is when you lead the other person to believe that you are exclusive. It doesn’t have to be something you say… it could be a gray area. If you want the other person to date only you, you should do the same! :)

  2. Personally, I find dating one person complicated enough. I can’t imagine the stress of trying to juggle multiple people. :)

    OK, I’m being a little facetious, but I have always felt that I was monogamous by nature. Once I form a romantic attachment to someone, I have no interest in other people.

    That being said, I have no general objection towards those who casually date more than one person at a time, as long as, as Jenny says, they are completely upfront and honest with everyone involved. If you start dating someone and they tell you they are not interested in exclusivity, than you have the option of choosing to continue seeing them or not. I like to think of it as “informed consent”.

    On the other hand, if someone were to be secretly involved with multiple partners, that to me would be unacceptable. I think that any relationship that lacks a strong foundation of trust, honesty and respect is doomed to fail.

    Your topics are always so interesting!

    1. :) Thanks!

      I once spoke to someone who dated more than one guy at a time, once, and she got totally confused. She couldn’t remember who she had gone with where and what convos she’d had with whom. It became so stressful, trying to remember each relationship individually.

      Ridiculous, if you ask me. And I’m sure if you ask her! I’m sure she didn’t do that again.

  3. I am very much against multiple dating. One of the major components to a date is to be an active listener, and concentrate on the person. I am afraid my attention span is very short, and I can concentrate only on one date/one person at a time.

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