The Jewish conspiracy

So, you know how there is this conspiracy about the Jews, that we actually own everything and control everything? Well, I have a major issue with this. Problem is, I’m not in on it! If this really exists, I’m not a part of it. Will it be after a certain age that I’ll get a knock on my door – or an email in my inbox – telling me that I’ve reached my conspiracy bat mitzva and from now on I’ll be taken care of fully? I never have to worry about anything ever again?

Well, I better keep an eye out for mail, email or visitors. Wouldn’t want to turn away that visitor!

And meanwhile, I’ll keep working my four jobs to pay my regular bills, just like everyone else.

Shavua tov. :)


7 thoughts on “The Jewish conspiracy

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  1. Good job agent “Dina” if that is even your real name;) I think this article will appease the masses..

  2. I have been waiting almost 15 years to get in. I am glad to know that even those born in do not know what is going on. I was starting to get the feeling that I was not liked. I mean fifteen years and nobody was giving me control of anything.



  3. People,

    You must stay more in tune with the news:

    “The Elders of Zion, the venerable and shadowy Jewish organization that controls the international banking industry, news media and Hollywood, has announced that it is disbanding so that members can retire to Florida and live out their golden years on the golf course.

    “We had a good run,” said one senior Elder, reminiscing over old photographs of world leaders in his musty, wood-paneled office at an undisclosed location. “Maybe we ran the world for just a little too long. Anyway, now it’s Obama’s problem.”

    After a humiliating year left most of its financial holdings, as well as the entire civilized world, on the verge of collapse, the organization has re-defined its mission in terms of bridge games and making it to restaurants for the Early Bird Special.

    The announcement comes after a year in which many of the Elders’ most prized institutions suffered disheartening failures. The vaunted global banking system, which lay at the heart of Jewish world domination for almost two centuries, collapsed with astonishing rapidity, requiring trillions of dollars in bailout funds. The newspaper industry, through which the Elders have controlled world opinion, is in shambles, with prominent papers declaring bankruptcy and forcing millions of readers to form their own opinions. And, in the unkindest cut, Hollywood suffered the humiliation of losing the Oscar for Best Picture to Indian film “Slumdog Millionaire.”


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