Judaism is tough for singles

Maybe I’m being a bit extreme but seriously, it can really suck trying to happily survive many of the different customs as a single person. What should be, and feel communal can often feel lonely. I know that loneliness is not reserved only for singles but we are allotted a lot of it (haha, allotted a lot).

But I’m not sure it’s exactly the loneliness that feels most difficult. It’s the planning. You know, Purim is around the corner and that’s fun! But then I think, wait, where am I going to go for the seuda (the main meal on Purim day)? Ugh. The meals on Shabbat are similar. With Purim coming up, one of my first impulses was, “You know what? Forget it. I’m just going to ignore that it’s Purim that day rather than ‘have to’ figure this out.”

I imagine having your own family is just lovely. What are we doing this Shabbat? We’ll be home. And next Shabbat? We’re just going to have a family dinner. We’ll invite some guests.

I must say that a few years ago, when I still lived in Israel, I would hear people say that many unmarried people stopped being frum (Orthodox) and that was because for a lot of them it was probably just too hard to be frum and single.

I always got annoyed and said, “No. They just don’t believe in it enough or they don’t connect to it. But why do you assume it has anything to do with them being single?”

I still somewhat disagree with that. I moved away from Yiddishkeit and I know that it was for religious reasons, not social ones, per se. But at the same time, I feel like when I have my own family, I will probably want to be more observant than I am now.

The path I’ve taken has been extremely vital in my personal development.

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