Beshert could be translated from Yiddish to mean soulmate or intended.

There are different opinions about what a beshert is and how one recognizes him/her. One opinion that I’ve heard from at least one Chabad rabbi is that your beshert is the person you end up marrying. Because that, by definition is beshert. The fact that you’re married to him/her means that he (k, assume he/she) was intended to marry you.

Of course not everyone would agree with that! I mean, obviously you can’t say that you weren’t meant to marry him if you did but on the other hand, shouldn’t beshert mean some kind of soulmate which feels sort of right?

I definitely believe the latter. A beshert is someone that fits better than anyone else you’ve met and probably better than you can imagine. It doesn’t mean things are never difficult or that he never annoys you like crazy, but there is a special place that you are starting from and a special connection that you are working with.


2 thoughts on “Beshert

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  1. Oohhhh… I so cannot relate to the later explanation!!! If your beshert is the one you marry, then how do you explain unhappy marriages or divorces? In such cases did the beshert become un-beshert along the ride?

    I am not comfortable with an idea of using a marriage as a measuring stick. A number of people are setup by their parents, and marry whomever they marry choose. A practice that is very common among some Hassidic circles. As recently as 20 years ago my own community practiced a form of arranged marriages, where parents selected spouses for their children.

    I recall a lecture at Neve that clearly articulated that it is possible to miss recognizing and missing your beshert in this life, which can alter your entire life course.

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