Is it sick to view the world through sexuality?

The other day I saw a movie about “coming out” in a Jewish school in the US. The movie is called Hineini and it’s a documentary about a girl who worked hard to make sure that her school was gay friendly.

The first time she met with the principal of her school, he said something to her that hurt her very much. He said something like, “It is sick to view the world through sexuality.”

Afterwards I thought about that line and felt like maybe that was what bothered me about the whole gay issue. That at least from the outside, it often looked like a major focus was put on the sexuality of people in the “gay community” when really that is only a small part of a whole being. I wonder(ed) why so many gays seem to be so gung ho about their sexual orientation when really all it is is a sexual orientation.

And then today I was given an idea of why this might be.

I was speaking to someone else who was at the showing and I told him my feelings about what the principal in the movie said. This person said to me, “I was born with a heart defect. I had to have an operation when I was a little kid and again when I was a teenager. I don’t think about it all the time but it is often something that makes me feel different than everyone else.”

Suddenly that made things click for me a little more. It is true that we all have certain things that get a major focus in our lives, whether they deserve that focus or not. It might be something that you’re really self-conscious about. It might be something connected to your family… Whatever it is, you, to a certain extent, view the world through that lens.

So then going back to the idea that it’s “sick”, well, maybe that is a harsh word but maybe to a certain extent it is unhealthy. I mean, if anything, those things in my life that get more focus than they are worthy of, are things that I am often trying to move past (accept, make peace with, whatever) in order to be able to view the world through a more clear and objective lense (if that’s possible). Because I do not feel like it is healthy to walk through life thinking so much about those things.

What do you think?

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2 thoughts on “Is it sick to view the world through sexuality?

  1. Hi Deena.

    I’ve loved reading your thoughts.

    I was fortunate to be involved in a Visionary Leadership course where our own values and beliefs were pulled apart. Of course, my thoughts on this are only owned by me and I constantly refer back to a quote offered to us during that course. “I have met the jailer, and she/he is I. We are all trapped in our own Worldview”.

    My personal belief is that we do all have things that get a major focus in our lives and they are based on our values.

    Whilst my values are probably great and important to me, they may mean nothing to anyone else. How did I get my values? I love this description that I was given……..

    ”Values describe what individuals consider to be important. They represent wants, preferences, desires: likes and dislikes for particular things, conditions or situations. Values describe the things that matter the most to an individual, the things that she or he will make sacrifices for in order to obtain. Values consist of a stance toward what is right, fair, just or desirable. They are one of the crucial keys to understanding behaviour since our actions are strongly influenced by our beliefs, and our beliefs significantly influence our values. Values are used in comparison processes when people establish standards, judge issues, debate opinions, plan activities, reach decisions, resolve differences, change behavioural patterns or exert influence”.

    I am bothered by the focus on gay issues because they aren’t my major focus. I struggle to understand why someone’s sexuality is important to their persona. So, for me, it is unhealthy to view the world through sexuality, but I know that is due to “my” values.

    1. Wow. Thanks so much for taking the time and energy to write such an interesting reply to my post. So interesting how our values are such a major factor in who we are, how we act, and what decisions we make.

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