Feeling bad about feeling bad

Usually when I feel bad about something – depressed about a certain situation or whatever – then I also feel bad about feeling bad. You know what I mean? Being happy is considered such an ideal and being upset is considered so negative and even unhealthy that one is made to feel bad about feeling bad! Like it’s irresponsible or something.

But then what happens is that not only do I feel bad but I also feel bad about feeling bad. It’s like I don’t think it’s legitimate to feel upset, down, depressed, angry…

Enough!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder how my life would be if for a week (or a day or an hour) I decided to just be upset when I’m upset. Let myself feel upset in whatever way I’m feeling bad and not feel bad about it.

Do you do the same thing to yourself?

P.S. Yes, I even bring it up to the next wonderful level of feeling bad about feeling bad about feeling bad. : )

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4 thoughts on “Feeling bad about feeling bad

  1. Maureen

    I always feel bad about being depressed and then it makes me feel worse. I try to talk to my friends about it, but they don’t understand and then everything becomes extremely irritating and I feel even more upset. It’s like i’m not supposed to feel bad, but I do, and I can’t help it.

    1. Deena

      Hey Maureen, It’s always nice to relate to someone else on an issue where you think you might just be crazy. : ) As for your friends not understanding, that really could make things feel worse. You’d at least want some sympathy from a friend! Well, this morning I woke up and remembered this blog post and said to myself, “OK, I’m going to try not to feel bad about feeling bad. It is OK if I feel bad about something. I am human. I have a lot going on. It’s allowed.” I hope you feel good! Or feel bad happily. : )

  2. Deena, I don’t like self-advertising, so please pardon me if this response is just that, however I like what you’ve written and feel for you. You and Maureen at least are aware you feel bad – I wasn’t even aware, as I’d blocked out and conditioned myself to NEVER feel bad! But of course that didn’t work. Anyway, I would like to invite you both to have a look at a book I wrote called Feeling bad is GOOD! It’s about accepting your bad feelings, allowing yourself to feel bad, but with the intention of uncovering the truth of your childhood repression – which you may or may not be interested in. And now – all because of Marion, my partners, explaining it to me – I live trying to allow myself to feel bad, and very bad, and not trying to deny myself such feelings; and I am finally beginning to actually feel really good about feeling really bad! And I have found I too felt bad for feeling bad, and have discovered, which has been very surprising and also very shocking, that I behaved this way because of how I was parented, with all my bad feelings being rejected when I was young. So in no way do I think or would I consider you crazy because you feel inclined to do what is natural to do, but what our crazy world is determined to block out and keep us from doing – feeling. But of course allowing yourself to feel bad, can be very scary, as potentially it might open a can of worms – how far down do my bad feelings go? And will I sink down into them, swamped by the flood if I give into them, never to feel good again? – but if you can bear my bad English and self-expression in my book, as I haven’t had it edited or proofed yet, it might shed some light on your dilemma, or possibly put it into some sort of perspective.

    http://www.childhoodrepression.weebly.com

    Go to free-books on my website. And my childhood repression blog is all about my experiences and understanding of bad feeling acceptance.

    James

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