There are certain things that have always been totally unacceptable in our home.
We were never allowed to call each other names and we were never allowed to say, “shut up”. To me, that has always felt almost like a “swear word”. Even when I write it here, I can feel the intensity of those words.
And the same goes for name-calling. The idea of calling someone an idiot or stupid is just totally wrong in my psyche. And I also think it’s just totally wrong.
But then when I go out into the world I see that these standards are pretty unique to our upbringing.
Just recently someone in my family was called a name by someone. This was a big enough event that I’m writing about it in this most sacred of places, my blog. : ) But seriously, this was totally unacceptable and this family member was very hurt by it. The name calling happened during an argument and even if the argument got very heated my family member wouldn’t think of calling names while the other side ended up stooping to a much lower level.
I see how being brought up like that ensured that the arguments amongs us siblings never stooped below a certain level. I also think that it helped us internalize the importance of having basic respect for each other and other human beings.
P.S. Just for the record, I do remember once calling my brother an idiot, I think, and I felt terrible! I think I once said shut up to him too. That also was a very uncomfortable experience on my part. I hate the use of both.