Name calling unacceptable

There are certain things that have always been totally unacceptable in our home.

We were never allowed to call each other names and we were never allowed to say, “shut up”. To me, that has always felt almost like a “swear word”. Even when I write it here, I can feel the intensity of those words.

And the same goes for name-calling. The idea of calling someone an idiot or stupid is just totally wrong in my psyche. And I also think it’s just totally wrong.

But then when I go out into the world I see that these standards are pretty unique to our upbringing.

Just recently someone in my family was called a name by someone. This was a big enough event that I’m writing about it in this most sacred of places, my blog. : ) But seriously, this was totally unacceptable and this family member was very hurt by it. The name calling happened during an argument and even if the argument got very heated my family member wouldn’t think of calling names while the other side ended up stooping to a much lower level.

I see how being brought up like that ensured that the arguments amongs us siblings never stooped below a certain level. I also think that it helped us internalize the importance of having basic respect for each other and other human beings.

P.S. Just for the record, I do remember once calling my brother an idiot, I think, and I felt terrible! I think I once said shut up to him too. That also was a very uncomfortable experience on my part. I hate the use of both.


4 thoughts on “Name calling unacceptable

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  1. Dina,
    Nice to know someone else was raised that way. In our family, we never called each names, we were never rude. So it is in my family now. My children, husband and I, are always polite. We never say shut up, you’re stupid, etc.. We respect each other and always use please and thank you. Too bad there aren’t more families like us.


  2. I was not raised that way but we do try to raise Channah that way (with some exclusions. We have been known to to call her our little goof ball). I agree with you that it maintains a certain base level of respect.

    We are also very big on you can attack an action or an opinion, but not the person. I think it plays to that. Calling someone a name attacks the person in question, and not just what they have done/are saying.

    1. Debbie, So nice you were raised a similar way! Rachel, amazing that you’re raising your own child this way. My mom always said that you can say things like, “You are acting irresponsibly” but you don’t say, “You are irresponsible.” I agree.

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