A blubbering emotional wreck

Always, before I go visit my family in Israel, I get so nostalgic and emotional.

I am reminded of the fact that I live across the world from them.

I think about the fact that I am going to see all my neices and nephews but they’re going to look very different than I picture them since I last saw them a year ago.

I am already heartbroken by the warm hug I’m going to get from my sweet little sister and then the bitter tears that always follow when I leave.

And I wonder, am I doing the right thing? I suddenly am unsure what I’m doing all the way out here, in Vancouver.

In this emotional state, I hear music and it makes me cry. All the music I hear strikes a chord in my heart that makes me think that maybe life is all about being close to family which means I’m not doing it right.

Life feels so fleeting to me at times like these. It’s like a “poof”. And I wonder how I’m making my choices.

I admit that almost always when my airplane touches down on the tarmac, I am teary-eyed. And in less than three days I’ll get to experience the ultimate landing. I’ll be landing in my beloved – and crazy – Israel on an El Al flight with Israeli music playing and the passengers (who suddenly feel like an audience) clapping.

Oh life…

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