Freaking out about new things

hebrew-book.jpgI get so nervous before I start something new. I am always scared (or terrified) that I’ll be bad at it or at least not very good.

When I started my work as a dietitian I was so scared. I ended up being very good (even if I didn’t like it).

When I started work as a saleswoman in a gym, scared. I was good.

When I started work at israelplug (ip), soooo nervous. Here I was especially nervous because more was counting on it than the other times. This time, I was finally getting a chance to do work in one of the only fields that I have decided might be good for me – writing. And if in the end I wasn’t good at it or I really didn’t enjoy it, it would feel like a much bigger failure.

Turns out, I am good at the work at ip and I enjoy it.

Also, I know that I expect way too much from myself. I am so happy that I’m able to think this way because next Sunday I’m starting a teaching job. I’ll be one of the teachers at one of the Hebrew schools here in Vancouver. I am so nervous about it because I’ve never done anything like it and I’m afraid I’ll be bad at it.

But the things I mentioned above really help me put it in perspective.

  1. I haven’t been good at everything I’ve tried (I didn’t mention those but obviously they do exist) but I have been at least pretty good at most of them. I will probably be totally fine.
  2. I expect WAY too much from myself. The level of the material is something I’m totally capable of. Also, I do not need to wow them constantly. And, I am new. So obviously there is going to be a learning curve – from my perspective – as I figure out how to teach.
  3. I am a talented person with lots to offer. Specifically, I do have a lot to offer these kids. My background, I’m good with kids… These will add to a positive experience.

Yes, there are things I’m scared of, like what if kids are disobedient (not sure how to deal with that), or if I have a hard time preparing for class (uch to class prep). But it should be fine. And, of course, if it’s not (which is always possible), I’ll just move on.


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